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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?